So Bad It HAS To Be A.I.

Billy Coull & Willy's Chocolate Experience

• So Bad It HAS To Be A.I.

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This episode, we look at the AI-generated script behind the Willy Wonka ripoff, Willy's Chocolate Experience... with twists and turns you'll never see coming.

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SPEAKER_03:

So, Joe.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes?

SPEAKER_03:

Guess what we're going to talk about today. One of the world's worst disasters of 2024. The U.S.

SPEAKER_00:

election?

SPEAKER_03:

Okay, maybe that's second. Maybe it's second worst then.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay.

SPEAKER_02:

Hello and welcome to So Bad It Has To Be AI, where we look at all the terrible things made by AI and others so bad we can't tell the difference. I'm Joe, and I'm with my lovely host, Rebecca. How are you?

SPEAKER_03:

Hello. I'm doing well. Can't complain.

SPEAKER_02:

Now, you've been hyping up this episode for a little while for me.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, I've been hyping it up with you a bit. I've been looking forward to talking about... this for a long time.

SPEAKER_02:

Good. Okay. So what are we going to cover today?

SPEAKER_03:

Well, we're going to cover Billy Cole and the Willy Wonka disaster of 2024.

SPEAKER_02:

All right. I know very little about this. I'm going to be honest. I know some of the memes.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, the memes.

SPEAKER_02:

And that's about it. So take me away.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, the memes are... We're good. But the actual story behind those memes is even better. So to begin with, there was a gentleman named Billy Cole. I'm sure a lot of people kind of know that name now. He was the face of the House of Illuminati LLC that kind of ran this Willy Wonka experience.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm sorry. Did you say House of Illuminati? LLC. LLC. Yep.

SPEAKER_03:

That was the name of the actual company that he's a part of.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay. I'm trying to wrap my head around that first. Because it's not even just Illuminati LLC. It's the House of Illuminati.

SPEAKER_03:

It's House of Illuminati. The is not in the title. Just House of Illuminati.

SPEAKER_02:

I know. We're off to a good start. The perfect thing you want to call your company is... And it looked totally legit. It's the house of Illuminati.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, it's pretty sheisty to begin with.

SPEAKER_02:

Great.

SPEAKER_03:

So we're off to a good start.

SPEAKER_02:

Awesome. All right.

SPEAKER_03:

There's not a whole lot that predates this event as far as stuff that Billy Cole has done.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay.

SPEAKER_03:

But the solidifying event that was the Wonka disaster took place in Glasgow, Scotland. In February of 2024. So

SPEAKER_02:

those were the first thing that was really bad for the year.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. Yeah. This was this should have been a cue for all of us that this year was just going to not be good. Like this was the harbinger that that started it all.

SPEAKER_02:

It was like the thing that we're saying, like, all right, we are officially in the simulation.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

And here's your first

SPEAKER_03:

clue. Yeah. Here's a little breadcrumb just to just to let you know what's what's about to happen. Got it. So basically, the event was supposed to take place the weekend of February 24th and 25th. And it was promoted the fuck out of... It was promoted a lot, like a lot of heavy advertising and promotional material that was trying to make it look like the best thing for any kid. Okay. And essentially what it was supposed to be was a ripoff of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. For all you Gene Wilder fans out there, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory for our younger audience members. So... There was a lot of heavy advertising and promotion of this event. This is, of course, an audio media and we're trying to describe this to you. You can look it up on the Wikipedia page, but essentially it all looks really bright and fun and stuff, but... I

SPEAKER_02:

will say, I'm already concerned because Wikipedia is now flagging it as an AI-generated advertisement.

SPEAKER_03:

Yes, yeah. So if we look at it, it says entertainment really big, but then above it and below it

SPEAKER_02:

are... Yeah, we have enshrining entertainment.

SPEAKER_03:

Yes, yeah. Catagating.

SPEAKER_02:

And then we have... No, we don't... It's not... It's catgate... Oh, cat... No, it's catgatting. Catgatting. It's catgatting. Whoa. Live performances. Where the R&M just have decided to do the fusion thing from Dragon Ball Z. We have Karchitons.

SPEAKER_03:

That's my favorite.

SPEAKER_02:

Karchitons. And we have Exocerdre lollipops and a Pasadice of sweet teats.

SPEAKER_03:

So... Sweet teats. Sweet teats. I'm going to start saying that now. Sweet teats.

SPEAKER_01:

We have sweet teats and some carchy tons, baby. That's insane.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. And then if we look at even the picture, we look at some of this stuff, it just looks off like it's melting, like it's a Salvador dolly. Yeah,

SPEAKER_02:

that lollipop is not going well right now. I can see that. It's basically drooping from the abyss while the... little ice cream people beneath there are just ready to get drowned by

SPEAKER_03:

it yeah it's like the slime from nickelodeon

SPEAKER_02:

yeah also why is there just a random like girl thing in this guy's balloon

SPEAKER_03:

it's a lollipop joe it's like one of those hard lollipops

SPEAKER_02:

but why is there like a picture of like this weird girl thing in it

SPEAKER_03:

unclear i just was telling you what it was i don't know why it why they decided to go with a girl thing that looks really off-putting in in a lollipop

SPEAKER_02:

well and i will say this exactly looks like one of those things where it's supposed to be like a game or something like that yeah it shows like hey this is like this really cute thing that's happening and then beneath the surface it looks terrifying yeah if you like zoom in on it there's like a ton of dead kids behind this thing yeah so like that's what this thing looks like to me

SPEAKER_03:

yeah it can't like it just it if you look at it in detail like maybe from like a passing um glance it doesn't look like weird but if you look at it for like longer than two seconds you will be like oh this is weird i don't i don't like this

SPEAKER_02:

i cannot believe somebody is looking at this ad like on facebook or something like that and like you know what this looks like a legit

SPEAKER_03:

yeah yeah i i i'm surprised that People actually bought into it. But again, if you're going to like work or scrolling through and see it for just like a split second, I'm sure it all makes sense in your brain. You're like, oh, yeah, sounds good. After the fact. Hindsight's always 20-20.

SPEAKER_00:

Sure.

SPEAKER_03:

So that's what people were seeing leading up to this event. On the other hand, with the actual setup and presentation of stuff, so local actors were hired to play parts and to be the different hosts of the different areas.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay.

SPEAKER_03:

And so what ended up happening was the actors and actresses were given literally the script the night before they were supposed to perform. And once they read through it, a lot of them started to think that this may be AI generated. And shocker, it was. Okay. So I thought it was going to be a fun idea to read through the script for Willy's chocolate experience.

SPEAKER_00:

Got it.

SPEAKER_03:

Thankfully, Gizmodo has it published on their website. So if anybody else wants to read through it after this, if you just can't get enough of it, feel free to look it up.

SPEAKER_02:

I just opened the website and it has the comparison to like the AI generated Candyland and literally the right picture of this. comparison is just three or four lollipops in literally what looks like a meth house

SPEAKER_03:

yeah it's a warehouse that's so I mean meth houses typically are in big open spaces like warehouses so I mean it's pretty on point and on brand

SPEAKER_02:

I'm just imagining Willy Wonka as Heisenberg right now.

SPEAKER_03:

The Gene Wilder version? Yes. Okay. I mean,

SPEAKER_02:

well, I will say- Or the Johnny Depp. The Johnny Depp one would probably fit more because Johnny Depp would be much creepier and crazier, in my opinion.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. Or you could go with Timothee Chalamet.

SPEAKER_02:

I guess.

SPEAKER_03:

But he's just not- He can't pull off a Heisenberg. Yeah, he cannot pull off a Heisenberg.

SPEAKER_02:

Heisenwonka.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, Heisenwonka.

UNKNOWN:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

So this is where we get into the crazy stuff. So actually, and I should give or point this out too, one of the actors did post this on Facebook after the whole event.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay.

SPEAKER_03:

So we'll get into the aftermath after we read through the script because you'll see where things kind of took a turn even before it opened to the general public.

SPEAKER_00:

Got it.

SPEAKER_03:

So let's dive in to this amazing script. The script is titled Wonka Doodles at McDuff's Chocolate Factory.

SPEAKER_02:

McDuff?

SPEAKER_03:

Colon, a script. So we're starting off strong. Um, and, and then underneath, underneath. Willie McDuff. And I just want to point out to Willie McDuff. So again, Billy Cole, I believe is, is Scottish. So I guess he was trying to, you know, make it relevant, relevant since it was going to be in Glasgow.

SPEAKER_02:

You know, God forbid, you know, Willie Wonka, you know, the super, super DEI character isn't relevant enough for Scotland.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, apparently not. Apparently we got to make him really Scottish,

SPEAKER_02:

Joe. We have to literally make him a negative stereotype.

SPEAKER_03:

Yep. Well, and also, if we look at McDuff, I mean, that's another cue.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm Willie McDuff.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, I'm Willie McDuff.

SPEAKER_02:

Come get some candy.

SPEAKER_03:

Yes. But basically, also, if you look at McDuff, I always think back to the Scottish play, Macbeth.

SPEAKER_00:

Sure.

SPEAKER_03:

And I'm like, oh, boy, we really like, I mean, that's a tragedy. Macduff, tragedy, Macbeth, oh, boy.

SPEAKER_02:

Well, I mean, I went straight to Ronald McDonald mixed with Duff Man. That's where I went to.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, Lord.

SPEAKER_02:

That's exactly where I'm like, Macduff.

SPEAKER_03:

I could see that.

SPEAKER_02:

Come get your big taffy.

SPEAKER_03:

But you have to do it in a Scottish accent like that, Joe.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, McDuff. I'm sure my Scottish accent is 100% accurate.

SPEAKER_03:

Don't come at us, Scottish people. We're really sorry if we have any Scottish listeners. We don't want to offend. So, Joe, would you mind reading the part of Willie McDuff? You got your Scottish accent? I

SPEAKER_02:

don't think I can do a scotch accent for this whole thing. I'll do my best Willy Wonka impression. Okay. Or I'll do my best like just whimsical dude impression.

SPEAKER_03:

That sounds good.

SPEAKER_02:

All right.

SPEAKER_03:

We can make that work. So we have the first scene, which is Willy McDuff, colon, introduction and audience interaction before entering the Garden of Enchantment. Scene one. A whimsical, brightly lit stage that hints at the magic of the garden of, and then there's this huge space, enchantment beyond. Willie McDuff, a character of eccentric charm and wit, stands before the curtain that separate the mundane from the magical. The audience is buzzing with anticipation.

SPEAKER_02:

Just predicting what the audience is going to do.

SPEAKER_03:

It's a bunch of bees, Joe. That's what they don't tell you. They did a cold read with bees in the audience.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, I'm up already. Yeah, you're up. You're up. With a grandiose flourish. Ladies, gentlemen, and esteemed guests of all ages, welcome... I am Willie McDuff, your humble guide on this journey to the extraordinary, the spectacular, the downright magical garden of enchantment. The downright magical garden of enchantment. I feel like you just broke character for a second. It was just like the extraordinary, the spectacular, just the goddamn downright magical.

SPEAKER_03:

Sounds like he's like a Pentecostal creature or something. He's just, he's really trying to sell you on holding those snakes. Audience, applause. We're happy we're here. Or if we were sticking with those bees, buzz, buzz.

SPEAKER_02:

Buzz, buzz. Buzz, buzz.

SPEAKER_01:

Yay, buzz, buzz.

SPEAKER_02:

Now I'm smiling apparently. Ah. I see we have enthusiasts among us. But before we proceed, a few formalities. Well, not so formal. If I have anything to say about it, wink.

UNKNOWN:

Wink.

SPEAKER_03:

Now we have some stage directions where he strides down stage closer to the audience with a mischievous twinkle in his eye. Well, how am I supposed to do that? I don't know. You gotta feel it, Joe.

SPEAKER_02:

Why am I mischievous?

SPEAKER_03:

You're Willy Wonka. Well, Willy

SPEAKER_02:

McDuff. Is Willy Wonka mischievous when he brings the people in?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, I mean, he causes people to blow up as a blueberry and get stuck in a tube. Or two tubes or something. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02:

That's more of their doing, though. He's not making them do it.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, yeah, no, I guess he was just kind of more of the passive observer, if you will. Yeah. Well, you figured out that mischievous twinkle in your eye. Whatever, fine. That's all you need to do.

SPEAKER_02:

You see, the Garden of Enchantment isn't just any garden. Oh, no. It's a place where the trees whisper secrets of old. The flowers sing in harmony and the stones, well, they mostly just sit there, but they stew it. I just read it. They mostly just sit there, but they do it enchantingly. I

SPEAKER_03:

like that idea of stones just sitting there enchantingly. Just like, ooh, look at me. I'm a stone.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm picturing the meme where, I don't know if you remember, but it's like that one meme where it says, hey, I'm sorry I'm running late. I'm waiting for the bus. And then it's like, well, hurry up. And then it says, waiting intensified. Yeah,

SPEAKER_03:

waiting intensified.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm just imagining that meme, but just with a rock. It's like. sitting enchantifies.

SPEAKER_03:

Ah! That is accurate. That's how I imagine them too.

SPEAKER_02:

And another stage direction for the audience. The audience laughs.

SPEAKER_03:

Yep. I like how we're all just puppets here in this whole... We are characters in this play. Yeah, this whole thing, this whole play, even the audience is a character. Now, I

SPEAKER_02:

must ask, who among you has brought their sense of wonder? Show of hands, please.

SPEAKER_03:

audience members raise their hands. Some enthusiastically. Some. Others more timidly. No half-assers here.

SPEAKER_02:

Even in the ideal script, only some people are enthusiastic about what's going on.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, the script is self-aware. It knows. It understands.

SPEAKER_02:

Splendid. And who has packed an extra pair of socks? You know, in case the first pair gets knocked off by sheer amazement.

SPEAKER_03:

I like that McDuff is definitely a dad joker over here. You get it? That just sums up dad joke right there. I

SPEAKER_02:

mean, I'm not going to lie. I will admit. That is absolutely a joke, I will say. 100%. Oh, Lord.

SPEAKER_03:

Audience laughs again. Of

SPEAKER_02:

course they do. A

SPEAKER_03:

few hands remain raised. So apparently we have some...

SPEAKER_02:

Some people actually brought socks.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, people that were like, oh, yeah, I definitely... All the time. Who brings extra socks?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, see, okay, here's my thing. I'm not upset by the random bad joke, right?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm more concerned with the fact that ChatGPT thinks people are going to legitimately keep their hands raised Because they have extra socks.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, they're like, nope, we came prepared. It's fine. We got these extra

SPEAKER_02:

socks. Y'all freaks need to leave. Yeah. We ain't doing that.

SPEAKER_03:

I will say, the people with their hands raised need to get the fuck out. That's what, like, William McDuff is doing. He's like, get out of here. We don't need

SPEAKER_02:

your kind. Weeding you out. Ah, we have some well-prepared adventurers. Excellent. Your journey into the garden will be one of awe, of laughter, and perhaps a mild case of bewilderment. But fear not, for I, Willy McDuff. What a weird name. Yeah. Sorry. For I, Willy McDuff, have traversed its path many a time and have only gotten lost. Pause is for effect. thrice.

SPEAKER_03:

I like the fact that then the stage directions for the audience say, audience chuckles enjoying McDuff's self-deprecating humor.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, Willie.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, you.

SPEAKER_02:

Now, a crucial question. Does anyone here speak fluent squirrel? No? Shame. They're the best conversationalists in the garden. But worry not, for I am a certified interpreter of squirrel, duck, And on special occasions, bashful tulip. Bashful tulip?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, what is a bashful tulip? Unclear.

SPEAKER_02:

Also, I'm a little concerned at the fact that he's certified as an interpreter for squirrel and duck.

SPEAKER_03:

Yep.

SPEAKER_02:

But only on special occasions does he know the language for bashful tulips.

SPEAKER_03:

He only knows it for garden party, Joe. So then it breaks into another audience direction. Audience is visibly amused. Some are leading in, fully engaged in Macduff's charismatic process.

SPEAKER_02:

Yes, I am charismatic.

SPEAKER_03:

Apparently so, Joe.

SPEAKER_02:

Before we embark, I must warn you. The garden has a way of... enhancing one's emotions. So, if you find yourself inexplicably joyful or suddenly bursting into song, embrace it! It's all part of the enchantment.

SPEAKER_03:

He starts to walk back towards the stage.

SPEAKER_02:

And now, my dear friends, are you ready to leave the mundane behind and step into a world where the impossible becomes possible, where every turn brings a new wonder, and where the only limit is your imagination?

SPEAKER_03:

The audience responds with cheers and

SPEAKER_02:

applause.

SPEAKER_03:

This audience is doing some work.

SPEAKER_02:

If there was a guy that was doing this in front of me, I would not be cheering. I would be like, dude, shut the fuck up.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, I'd be like, where's the snacks? What is this garden? We were supposed to get chocolate.

SPEAKER_02:

Then, without further ado, let us proceed. But remember, keep your belongings close, your wits about you, and your socks well secured. To the Garden of Enchantment we go! I

SPEAKER_03:

will give ChatGPT credit for doing a callback to their previous joke about the socks. It's true, you're right. That's pretty good for AI. Willie McDuff leads the audience with a dramatic gesture towards the curtain, which slowly begins to open, revealing the first glimpse of the Garden of Enchantment. As lights and sounds from the magical realm spill into the auditorium, ending the scene on a high note of anticipation and excitement. Woo! Woo! They need like some wonderful little smoke bombs and like choo-choo-choo! So then we have the second scene in the Garden of Enchantment with Willie McDuff and the wonky doodles.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, are you going to be a wonky doodle?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, I think I'm going to be a wonky doodle. Just for you, Joe. All right. The stage transforms into a vibrant, mystical garden of enchantment filled with oversized, colorful flowers, twinkling lights, and mysterious pathways. Willie McDuff, with his distinct attire and sparkle in his eyes, is joined by the playful wonky doodles, each holding baskets brimmed with an assortment of whimsical sweets.

SPEAKER_02:

I am spreading my arms out wide. Ah, welcome! Welcome to the heart of the Garden of Enchantment, a place where wonders never cease, and the sweets... he gestures towards the Wonka Doodles, are as enchanting as the surroundings.

SPEAKER_03:

The Wonka Doodles dance around, offering sweets to the audience members who have followed them onto the stage, transformed into the garden for this immersive experience.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh yeah, Wonka Doodle 1 now coming in.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh boy, here I go. I'm apparently tripping over a pretend stone. Why

SPEAKER_02:

a pretend stone? Can't it just be a stone? Yeah, can't it

SPEAKER_03:

just be a

SPEAKER_02:

general stone? I'm just imagining someone just awkwardly coming in and then just like standing right in front

SPEAKER_03:

and go, oh no. Sweets flying everywhere. So that's how I end up apparently tripping tripping over a pretend stone and sweets just flying all over the place. Oops! It seems even the stones want a taste of our treats. audience.

UNKNOWN:

What?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. Like, how a pretend stone all of a sudden wants treats even though they just sit there and just are enchanting. Yeah, I don't get that. Audience laughs as Wonka Doodle 2 helps gather the sweets, turning the mishap into a playful act.

SPEAKER_02:

William McDuff is chuckling. Careful there! Our garden stones are known to be quite the sweet tooths.

UNKNOWN:

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

SPEAKER_03:

But I thought you just said that they just sit there enchantingly. But they are enchanting. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Now, dear guests, feel free to explore, but beware of the giggle grass. It's been known to induce spontaneous laughter.

SPEAKER_03:

Audience members are encouraged to move around and interact with the set pieces, including the giggle grass, which when stepped on triggers hidden speakers to play laughter

SPEAKER_01:

sounds.

UNKNOWN:

Oh, Jesus.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, there I am. Wonka Doodle 2. Handing out a peculiarly... Wonka Doodle 2. Handing out a peculiarly... I don't know why I can't say peculiarly. Peculiarly. Can you say it?

SPEAKER_00:

Peculiarly.

SPEAKER_03:

Peculiarly. Wonka Doodle 2. Handing out a... Peculiarly. Wonky Doodle 2, handing out a peculiarly shaped candy. Try this. It's our latest. Oh, sorry. Yeah, you got to keep going, apparently. Oh, apparently there's like a space again. Like this is, and

SPEAKER_02:

it's weird. There's a colon because then it looks like it's the creation's about to

SPEAKER_03:

talk. Yeah, yeah. You want me to make a voice for the creation, too? No. It's like Rocky Horror. Okay. It's our latest creation, the Whizbang Whirly Gig. Just be sure you're not standing upside down when you eat it, or you might find yourself floating. What? I don't know. They're trying to get to the fizzy lifting drinks from the original. This is where they're trying to crib from some of the Willy Wonka stuff.

SPEAKER_02:

I

SPEAKER_03:

mean, you didn't have to stand on your head to get it to activate. Basically, you drank it and you just got lifted up

SPEAKER_02:

to the ceiling. Yeah, I'm trying to figure out how a standing... upside down. We'll

SPEAKER_03:

get you floating.

SPEAKER_02:

Do you have to be standing on the ground upside down, like you're almost like a bat kind of hanging upside down, or do you have to be standing on your head?

SPEAKER_03:

Maybe they mean like you're upside down, like doing a headstand, and then all of a sudden you burp really loud and you just float. I don't know. That would be my guess.

SPEAKER_02:

Well, that means then the inverse of that would be you burp while you're just standing and your knees just buckle.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, you get like a huge crater

SPEAKER_02:

underneath you. Yeah, you just yamcha right into the ground.

SPEAKER_03:

Boom!

SPEAKER_01:

This stuff's deadly.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, I'm back in. Yep, you're

SPEAKER_03:

back in, Joe.

SPEAKER_02:

Willie McDuff is joining in on the fun. And if anyone encounters our talking tulips do pay them a compliment. They've been a bit wilting lately and a kind word goes a very long way in this garden.

SPEAKER_03:

I guess those are those bashful tulips. Those are the bashful tulips. They could have just said that they were talking tulips not bashful. So then the audience members engage with the interactive flowers offering compliments to which the flowers respond with pre-recorded whimsical thank yous. I don't know how you can get a whimsical thank you though. Thank you. Ah, thank you. I guess

SPEAKER_02:

one of those. It's got to sound like a Pokemon. That's how.

SPEAKER_03:

That's, yeah. I was going to say, pika, pika. Then we can talk. Now I'm back in. Wonka Doodle 1.

SPEAKER_01:

Just to a guest. To

SPEAKER_03:

just a random guest. Oh, and if you see a butterfly, whisper your sweetest dreams to it. They are our official secret keepers and dream carriers of the garden.

SPEAKER_02:

And I come back in, gathering everyone's attention. Gather round. Now, I must ask, Has anyone seen the elusive bubble bloom? What? It's a rare flower that blooms just once every blue moon and fills the air with shimmering bubbles.

SPEAKER_03:

Then apparently the stage crew discreetly activates the bubble machines. Filling the area with bubbles, causing excitement and wonder among

SPEAKER_02:

the audience. I cannot get over how even in the ideal AI script, This already sounds janky as fuck.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Where you're just having some random, like, pre-recorded laughing noises when you step on some grass. Yep. You're getting some pre-recorded thank yous, I guess. From tulips. From tulips that aren't actually doing anything. They're just sitting there, and then you just hear a speaker in the distance. Thank you.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. I really appreciated that. Thanks. I appreciate it. We love you. We love you. You're so kind.

SPEAKER_02:

And then now it just bubbles.

SPEAKER_03:

Yep, that the crew just makes happen. Then there's, of course, Wonky Doodle 2 pretending to catch bubbles.

SPEAKER_02:

Why pretend? There are bubbles. There are bubbles. You don't have to pretend. You just actually do it. I like the idea that they're pretending to catch bubbles where there are no bubbles. Yep. Even though there are bubbles over somewhere else, they're somewhere else in the distance just raving.

SPEAKER_01:

What is that guy

SPEAKER_02:

doing?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, that, that actually, yeah, the bubbles are all happening on the, like the stage right side and then stage left. There's this little random. Oh, look at all these bubbles.

SPEAKER_02:

We have one could do a one, the clumsy one. And we have one could do a two, the tweaking one.

SPEAKER_03:

Yep. Apparently that's, that's you get to, well, it is taking place in a warehouse. So there's probably meth somewhere around. Maybe it could be. So apparently I'm pretending to catch bubbles. Quick! Each bubble holds a whisper of enchantment. Catch one and make a wish.

SPEAKER_02:

A whisper of

SPEAKER_03:

enchantment? Yeah, I don't know what a whisper of enchantment is. So,

SPEAKER_02:

okay, in this universe, enchantment's like mana. It's like a magical bank and power-up. It's like a natural resource of magic.

SPEAKER_03:

Yep.

SPEAKER_02:

And... Or it's almost like the belief in Santa Claus and like in the Santa Claus where like Tim Allen couldn't fly and

SPEAKER_03:

be

SPEAKER_02:

Santa Claus without enough people believing in him or something. Or like it's

SPEAKER_03:

like Peter Pan with the clapping. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For Tinkerbell to come back.

SPEAKER_02:

Right, exactly. So I feel like it's kind of like that where like bubbles have like, you get one XP of enchantment or something like that. Yep, you power up

SPEAKER_03:

just a little bit each time.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, it's the worst grinding ever.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, I'm back in. Yep, you're back in. As the bubble catching frenzy continues. These people are just piling over each other to get these bubbles, man. Yeah,

SPEAKER_03:

they're, like, beating people, like, with chairs. Some people are picking up the tulips. There's

SPEAKER_01:

this huge riot going

SPEAKER_03:

on. Yeah, there's just a riot. The tulips

SPEAKER_01:

are being used as weapons. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

SPEAKER_02:

That would be pretty wild. Remember, in the Garden of Enchantment, every moment is a chance for magic. Every corner hides a story, and every bubble, and I catch a bubble, apparently, holds a dream. I thought a whole, wait, hold on. Does it hold a whisper of enchantment or does it hold a dream? It's one of those two.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Or is a dream only worth a whisper of enchantment, which if that's the case, that's a fucked up system.

SPEAKER_03:

That's a really bad exchange

SPEAKER_02:

rate. Dreams ain't worth it.

SPEAKER_03:

Just throw that away. Willie opens up his hand and the bubble gently pops, releasing a small twinkling light that ascends into the rafters, leaving the audience in awe. What?

SPEAKER_02:

Whoa. What technology? I know we went from. The crappiest pre-recording equipment of all time to like top tier. You are getting like the best of Disney level. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Pixar.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. Pixar

SPEAKER_03:

animation right there.

SPEAKER_02:

Right. Animatronic automation. Here we go. So, oh man. Okay. With warmth.

SPEAKER_03:

Say it kindly, Joe. With a lot of warmth.

SPEAKER_02:

All right. Dear friends, take this time to explore, to laugh, and to dream. For in this garden, the magic is real and the possibilities are... I've been saying the same thing for the last like 30 minutes. I have not said a single thing that's different. Yep. I know it. I get it. The garden's fucking magic. I understand. Ugh. For in this garden, the magic is real and the possibilities are endless. And who knows? The next wonder you encounter may just be around the next bend.

SPEAKER_03:

Scene ends with the audience fully immersed in the interactive magical experience. Laughter and joy filling the air as Willie McDuff and the wonky doodles continue to engage in delight with their enchanting antics and treats.

SPEAKER_02:

I feel like eat again. Shocker. With this AI, Willy McDuff, we're really getting a Wish.com version of Willy Wonka.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, it's very Timu or Wish.

SPEAKER_02:

Clearly, AI understands what Willy Wonka is, but does not have the wherewithal to actually create a character that has any remote depth at all. My entire character trait is just Be whimsical.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, be whimsical

SPEAKER_02:

and mischievous. And tell them about enchantment. I'm not even being mischievous. I'm just telling them, hey, guess what? There's magic here. Hey, guess what? There's magic there. Hey, guess what? There's magic there. That's true.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

My job is to tell you that there's magic here.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, you're just pointing out the obvious.

SPEAKER_02:

Magic, magic, magic. Magic, magic, magic, magic. Fuck that tulip. Magic.

SPEAKER_03:

It's true. I will say he's just a bunch of whimsicalness and dad jokes.

SPEAKER_02:

Now, if I had to describe myself... I would describe myself as a bunch of whimsicalness and dad jokes. I

SPEAKER_03:

mean, it's true, and I love you

SPEAKER_02:

for it. Which means I just compared myself as...

SPEAKER_03:

AI Willy

SPEAKER_02:

Wonka. Wish.com Willy

SPEAKER_03:

Wonka.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. But if I had to say... That's pretty

SPEAKER_03:

accurate. Yeah. Also, I just want to point out there's a very obvious lack of chocolate. You're

SPEAKER_02:

right. The title is like The Chocolate Adventure, isn't it?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, Chocolate Experience.

SPEAKER_02:

Chocolate Experience. We have not had any chocolate yet in this Chocolate Experience.

SPEAKER_03:

No, it's just a bunch of weird candy, maybe like this Whirligig. What is it? Whizbang Whirligig.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, so we got that. Yeah. Which makes me feel it's like that one candy from Willy Wonka. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

The Amazing Gobstopper?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, it sounds like it's supposed to be The Gobstopper.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, get ready, because that's not it, Joe. There is an actual equivalent for

SPEAKER_02:

that thing. Got it,

SPEAKER_03:

okay. And an equivalent for Slugworth, the candy manufacturer that was in competition to Willy Wonka. That's going to be a lot more creepy and weird than what actually was portrayed in the movie. So now, scene before entry into the dark and mysterious Twilight Tunnel. I don't

SPEAKER_02:

think you need scene. This is before we go in. So we're, like, standing at the precipice of the tunnel.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, we're, like, at the mouth of the tunnel, like, literally.

SPEAKER_02:

All right.

SPEAKER_03:

The vibrant colors and whimsical laughter of the Garden of Enchantment gradually give way to a more subdued atmosphere. Ooh. The path... The path narrows and the light dims, leading to the entrance of the twilight tunnel. Willie McDuff, with a lantern in hand, gathers the audience at the threshold where shadows, dance, and air of mystery envelops the space. The wonky doodles huddle close, their usual mirth replaced by an eager anticipation mixed with a hint of apprehension.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay, first off...

SPEAKER_03:

Lots of big words there for chat, GPT.

SPEAKER_02:

First off, usual mirth.

SPEAKER_03:

Isn't that like a mean kind of... What

SPEAKER_02:

the hell is mirth?

SPEAKER_03:

I think mirth is kind of more like kind

SPEAKER_02:

of rough. Especially as expressed in laughter.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay. Well, then that

SPEAKER_02:

solves that problem. Well, thank you, ChatGPT. You taught me something today.

SPEAKER_03:

So that's why you used mirth there. I understand now.

SPEAKER_02:

But why do they have apprehension? Isn't this where they're supposed to be?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, that's what I thought. I thought they knew where they were going. I don't understand why they're all of a sudden nervous about it.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay, we'll find out. Because I'm back in.

SPEAKER_03:

Yep, you're back

SPEAKER_02:

in. In a hushed tone. drawing the audience closer. Brave explorers, our journey through the Garden of Enchantment has brought us to a most curious threshold, the entrance to the Twilight Tunnel.

SPEAKER_03:

The audience's chatter quiets down, their attention captured by the change in Willy's tone and the intriguing darkness ahead.

SPEAKER_02:

When I stare into the Twilight Tunnel, the Twilight Tunnel stares back.

SPEAKER_03:

It's true. What is

SPEAKER_02:

Okay, I just like that they're kind of just thinking, okay, oh shit, he getting real now. Like he changed his tone. Get in close. William Macduff gestures toward the tunnel. Beyond this point lies a realm of shadows and whispers, a place where the mysteries of the night come alive. Why do you have this in your factory? Sorry, that's me out of character. But fear not. for though the path may be veiled in darkness, it is also speckled with the light of a thousand twilight stars.

SPEAKER_03:

Wonky Doodle One clutches a small glowing orb, offering a visual representation of the twilight stars William

SPEAKER_01:

and Chad. Hey, here's this orb. Hey, you see?

SPEAKER_03:

It's like a

SPEAKER_01:

beach ball, but out of light.

SPEAKER_03:

Wonky Doodle One's doing an interpretive dance with the... She's like, get out your phones.

SPEAKER_02:

We just got a lighter.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. Get out your phones or a lighter. We got to make this look realistic. A sea of stars. Wonky Doodle 1 with a tone of awe. These orbs are the captured essence of Twilight itself. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay.

SPEAKER_03:

They will guide us when the stars above are shy. Okay. I don't know. She sounds like she's, like, high. Like, she literally, like, went to, like, a bong circle before

SPEAKER_02:

this. She literally went to Walkadill 2's house and had a great time.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, she did. Woo!

SPEAKER_02:

Indeed, my friend. And as we step into the shadows, remember, it is in the darkness that the light shines brightest. So I ask you, are you ready to embrace the unknown and discover the secrets that lie within?

SPEAKER_03:

The audience murmurs affirmatively. A mix of excitement and nervous anticipation in the air.

SPEAKER_02:

I like the idea that someone was like, hey. Did we just walk into a haunted house? This is getting spooky. Fear not, for you are not alone. Together, we shall traverse the twists and turns of the Twilight Tunnel, and who knows what wonders we might uncover.

SPEAKER_03:

Willy turns to the Wonka Doodles, who are now distributing the glowing orbs to the audience.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, everyone gets an orb now.

SPEAKER_03:

You get an orb, and you get an orb. Everybody gets an

SPEAKER_02:

orb. Take this glow-in-the-dark beach ball.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, and do some interpretive dancing with it.

SPEAKER_02:

These orbs are not only our light, but our promise to each other that no matter how dark the path, we will always find our way through together. Shut the fuck up, Willy. Oh my God.

SPEAKER_03:

Getting weird. You're insufferable. Wonky Doodle 2, looking slightly more courageous, steps forward. And remember, in the Twilight Tunnel, it's not just about finding the light. It's about finding the courage within ourselves to face the dark and emerge stronger on the other side. Oh, my

SPEAKER_02:

God.

SPEAKER_03:

We got, like, real Nietzsche all

SPEAKER_02:

of a sudden. What is happening?

SPEAKER_03:

Ooh, I don't know. I

SPEAKER_02:

know it's an experience. I know I was actually probably wrong before when I said it was, like, his factory.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

But I feel like he's supposed to, like, just live here, though. Yeah. Why are we doing this then? If this is that freaking weird and scary, why are we going here?

SPEAKER_03:

Apparently we gotta. That's part of the experience, Joe.

SPEAKER_02:

I just feel like the whole mischievous thing that we were talking about beforehand was actually the fact that William McDuff was about to bring all these people in to sacrifice to some weird Lovecraftian monster that's at the end of this tunnel.

SPEAKER_03:

That's

SPEAKER_02:

what's going to happen. He's just trying to coax them into this tunnel.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, he's got to make his sacrifice, his monthly quota for this beast.

SPEAKER_02:

Right. That's what it's feeling like right now. Raising his lantern. So with hearts brave and spirits bold, let's... Shut the fuck up, Will. Let us step into the Twilight Tunnel, where adventure awaits at every shadow's edge. After all, the greatest treasures are often hidden in the darkest places.

SPEAKER_03:

Willie leads the way into the tunnel with the audience following closely behind, their glowing orbs illuminating the path as they venture into the unknown, leaving the world of light and laughter behind for a journey filled with mystery and discovery. All

SPEAKER_00:

right.

SPEAKER_03:

Scene ends as the group disappears into the mouth of the twilight tunnel, the light from their orbs casting a soft glow that fades into the encompassing darkness, setting the stage for an adventure unlike any other. I don't know why we need to know that as

SPEAKER_02:

a script. Yeah. Why is the script saying, hey, from this perspective that no one's going to see.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Because like what it's trying to do is that movie thing, right? Where it's the typical movie trope where people are going into like a tunnel or something dark place and you just watch them as they disappear. Yeah. Into the tunnel or into the darkness. That's what it's trying to do. But this isn't a book. Like you said, it sounds like it's a book and they're narrating the book. Yes. This is supposed to be a script.

SPEAKER_03:

Supposed to be a script that we're supposed to act out.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. So this is for like the non-existent cameraman.

SPEAKER_03:

Yes. Yeah. They just got to make it interesting, an interesting read for the actors. That's what I'm hanging my hat on. Gotcha. Okay. Scene in the Twilight Tunnel with Willie McDuff, the Unknown, capital U, and the anti-graffiti gobstopper. I'm sorry, what? The

SPEAKER_02:

anti-graffiti

SPEAKER_03:

gobstopper. This is the everlasting gobstopper equivalent that I was talking about

SPEAKER_02:

earlier. Well, okay, now I get why he said it because they literally just took the name.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, and put anti-graffiti. What's anti-graffiti? Oh, it'll explain it. Will it? Yes, it will. Will it? It will, and it will not make any sense.

SPEAKER_02:

That's why I asked, will it?

SPEAKER_03:

I mean, yes, it goes, there's an equivalence. There are words on a

SPEAKER_02:

page.

SPEAKER_03:

That are equivalent to anti-graffiti.

SPEAKER_02:

You will read later on that there are the words. words anti-graffiti gobstopper and there will be words around it

SPEAKER_03:

describing it

SPEAKER_02:

got it okay

SPEAKER_03:

Get your grave tone on, Joe. With a serious expression.

SPEAKER_02:

My dear adventurers, we stand on the precipice of a... Jesus, even when I'm trying to be serious, I sound like such an asshole. We stand on the precipice of a discovery most wondrous and perilous. For within these ancient walls lurks a tale not yet told of an evil chocolate maker known only as the... What? Known only as the Unknown.

SPEAKER_03:

The audience leans in, captivated by Willy's

SPEAKER_02:

words. Well, so was I. The fuck is the unknown?

SPEAKER_03:

Well, it's weird because, okay, in the stories, the antagonist to Willy Wonka was Slugworth. I don't know how AI decided that unknown was a good equivalent to Slugworth.

SPEAKER_02:

It almost seems like it's Slugworth mixed with Voldemort.

SPEAKER_03:

Yes, yeah, very much so. That's the vibe that I got when I went

SPEAKER_02:

through this. So the unknown's like a thing.

SPEAKER_03:

Yes.

SPEAKER_02:

It's not, we're not just... It's an entity of sorts. Yeah, we're not going to just see... and wander into the unknown, we are going to deal with a literal character known as the unknown.

SPEAKER_03:

Yes.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, God. Okay. This fiendishly foe has long coveted one of my most cherished creations, the anti-graffiti gobstopper, a marvel of confectionary science designed to aid, oh, not just any soul, but the tireless guardians of cleanliness. Yes. Our beloved mums. And yes, dads too, but especially moms, from the endless scourge of dirty socks strewn about by youthful adventurers.

SPEAKER_03:

What? I told you.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay, I think Chachi PT just had an aneurysm. Because my guess, this is only my guess, clearly I think they're trying to go for the anti-gravity gobsupper.

SPEAKER_03:

Yes.

SPEAKER_02:

And... It screwed itself up somehow, which is weird to me because, again, because the way that LLMs work or the large language models work, like ChatGPT is, is that it's just a bunch of predictive text.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

That's all it is. So it's going to write something like anti, and then it's going to run a million different calculations to think what's the most predictive word that should go after anti. And usually that should be gravity. Right. Yeah. Where did it get the idea that anti-graffiti is the next plausible explanation for that? I don't know. I don't understand it.

SPEAKER_03:

So my thought is it got put in wrong. I think somebody put this in the- It

SPEAKER_01:

spelled checker changes to graffiti?

UNKNOWN:

Yes.

SPEAKER_03:

I do believe that that's what happened.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, that's so much better. I love that. We are going with that instead. So, okay. So that happened. But then- ChatGPT doesn't understand what's going on and also doesn't know what an anti-graffiti gobstopper would be.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

So it's about cleanliness.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, it's stopping graffiti. So stopping people from

SPEAKER_02:

trash and stuff. Yeah, so it's designed to aid the tireless gardens of cleanliness, the moms.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

So it's like a sponge.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, apparently.

SPEAKER_02:

It's like a magic eraser.

SPEAKER_03:

It's

SPEAKER_02:

a Mr. Cleaner Magic Eraser. That's what this gobstopper is.

SPEAKER_03:

So we'll get more into it. It kind of is, but you'll see, like, it's kind of a little bit unclear as to how it works, but yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, really? You don't think that Chad G.B. fleshed out all the ways that the anti-graffiti gobstopper works? Color me shocked, Rebecca.

SPEAKER_03:

A murmur of amusement and agreement ripples through the audience.

SPEAKER_02:

I don't have any language in this or any lines in this. I'm supposed to suddenly freeze mid-sentence. Where? You didn't give me a sentence to freeze from. Yeah,

SPEAKER_03:

there's no mid-sentence.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay, I got it.

SPEAKER_03:

And then, ah! Silence envelops the group, the tension palpable. Then, from the shadows, a figure emerges, cloaked in mystery and malice.

SPEAKER_02:

The unknown. Oh, Jesus.

SPEAKER_03:

Ha ha ha. The unknown, with a voice both smooth and sinister.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, wait, I can do this. Oh, okay. Smooth and sinister. Yeah. Ah, Willie McDuff and his band of intrepid explorers. You have something I desire. And with your unwitting aid, it shall be mine. The anti-graffiti gobstopper will no longer clean your... What? I just read ahead. Okay. Sorry. I'm sorry. The anti-graffiti gobstopper will no longer clean your worlds. It will turn them to chaos at my command.

SPEAKER_03:

The audience gasps. Like Patrick Star. The audience gasps, some shifting nervously as the unknown scans the crowd, his gaze landing on a chosen audience member.

SPEAKER_02:

Wait, now I want to know what the unknown looks like.

SPEAKER_03:

So the person playing the unknown, it's kind of creepy. I won't lie. Oh

SPEAKER_02:

my God. That is terrifying. It's like a

SPEAKER_03:

silver mask.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, so it's a guy in a black robe with very long black hair. And, like, a scary-looking silver hockey mask.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. It kind of reminds me of, like, the Death Eaters in Harry Potter. Like, I think that's what they were trying to go for. Yeah, it looks like. Yes.

SPEAKER_02:

You there. Yes, you will assist me in acquiring this precious suite. Together, we shall rewrite the rules of cleanliness. What the fuck? It's obsessed. Together, we shall rewrite the rules of cleanliness and order. What are we doing? What is happening?

SPEAKER_03:

What is this about anymore? You could have just literally called the unknown entropy and just gotten away with that because that's what it's doing. You don't have to call it the unknown. You

SPEAKER_02:

said it best. You said it best like 30 minutes ago or whenever you said it, which was, this is Willie's chocolate experience. Chocolate, yes. We are now talking about... The dirtiness of socks and the anti-graffiti gobstopper, which is meant to clean, help moms in some time, just some time. Just some time. Doesn't always work for dads. Even in the magical enchanting world of Willie's Chocolate Adventure, there's still a patriarchal structure in place where moms have to do all the cleaning. Yes. So basically a magical Mr. Clean magic eraser, which is supposed to help people clean things, is now going to be turned off. into an item of chaos yes by this by the unknown

SPEAKER_03:

yes by this death eater looking motherfucker and

SPEAKER_02:

he's going to rewrite the rules of cleanliness and order

SPEAKER_03:

yes 100 joe

SPEAKER_02:

what is what is going on oh wait i agree with william mcduff here because william mcduff is very confused apparently. Yeah, very

SPEAKER_03:

confused. Oh, I'm with you, Willy. Yeah, we're all with you, 100%, buddy. What happened? Did anyone else feel a chill? He looks around, feigning ignorance of the unknown's presence.

SPEAKER_02:

You all look as if you've seen a ghost. Or perhaps you're just feeling a bit... Whitey? A

SPEAKER_03:

bit whitey. Apparently, laughter breaks the tension, so it did its job, I guess, with us.

SPEAKER_02:

I don't like that it's bad and makes absolutely no sense, but somehow still it's correct at predicting what I'm going to do next. I don't like that.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, it elicits the right action or reaction to it.

SPEAKER_02:

Anyway, sorry.

SPEAKER_03:

Laughter breaks the tension, as Willie reassures the audience with a wink and a smile, subtly dismissing the ominous threat of the unknown as nothing more than a momentary illusion.

SPEAKER_02:

Fear not, my friends, for the power of imagination and good cheer can dispel even the darkest of shadows. Now, let us continue our journey with hearts light and spirits undimmed.

SPEAKER_03:

Transition to the bubble and lemonade room.

SPEAKER_02:

Rebecca.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah?

SPEAKER_02:

What the fuck is the bubble and lemonade room?

SPEAKER_03:

Well, apparently it was just a table set up with a bunch of, like, Dixie cups.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay, that's what that sounds like. It sounds like, hey, you were in this horrible, dark, enchanted tunnel of light or something. Yep. Let's stop over by, like, the bathroom over there and get some refreshments.

SPEAKER_03:

Let's stop by Crafty and get us some refreshments.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay, well... Oh, I'm up. All right. Suddenly brightening. Speaking of light spirits, I found myself quite parched after our unexpected adventure. Why would it be unexpected? You took them there. You're the guide, man. You're the guide. But fortune smiles upon us, for just beyond this door lies a room filled with refreshments most delightful. The bubble and lemonade room.

SPEAKER_03:

With a flourish, Willie opens a previously unnoticed door.

SPEAKER_02:

Apparently it just appears out of nowhere. I like it even better where it's always been there, but he has his back turned. It's like, the bubble and lemonade room. And he's just at a wall. And then it turns around. Oh, it's over here.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, that's a better way, too. I like that. I like that visual. Revealing a room where the air sparkles with floating bubbles and rivers of sparkling lemonade blow freely. Now,

SPEAKER_02:

Joe. Rivers of lemonade. I'm sorry, sparkling lemonade.

SPEAKER_03:

Now, Joe, I just want to point out what it actually looked like. Should I look it up? Yes, you should look it up because it's sad. It's literally a table.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, God. It's literally just... Oh, my God. It's literally just a makeshift wall with, like, a black tarp.

SPEAKER_01:

Yep.

SPEAKER_02:

And then, yeah, it's just a folding table with really shitty Dixie cups. Yep. And then there's a garbage bag that's just on the ground next to

SPEAKER_03:

it. Yep. That's literally... The Bubble and Lemonade Room! That's literally what they open the door to.

SPEAKER_02:

Was there even a door? I don't even believe there was a door. There wasn't. They just

SPEAKER_03:

probably turned it because it looks like a maze. Yeah. So I think what it was was that they just basically turned a corner and there was Crafty with

SPEAKER_02:

its refreshments. Here, my dear guests, you may quench your thirst with lemonade that fizzes and dances on the tongue and chase bubbles that burst with flavors unimaginable. A toast to adventures shared with... Oh my God, shut the fuck up. A toast... toast to adventures shared and friendships forged in the hearts of the unknown. Now, hang on. This

SPEAKER_03:

is the problem with calling a character the unknown.

SPEAKER_02:

While the guy keeps talking about the unknown. Yes. So this is not capitalized. So this is not. The unknown. This is just the general concept of the unknown.

SPEAKER_03:

It's like little G God and big G God.

SPEAKER_02:

It really is. Yes, it is. It's little U unknown and big U unknown.

SPEAKER_03:

Yes, that's what we have. The audience now relieved. Now relieved? Relieved.

SPEAKER_02:

Thank God that fucking crazy weird thing came off. Nowhere is gone now. I'm so happy about that.

SPEAKER_03:

And rejuvenated by the whimsical turn of events follows Willie into the bubble and lemonade room. Laughter and chatter filling the air once more as they immerse themselves in the joyous, bubbly wonderland.

SPEAKER_02:

Come see our craft table.

SPEAKER_03:

Here's crafty right here for you.

SPEAKER_02:

Here it is. Ah,

SPEAKER_03:

feast your eyes.

SPEAKER_02:

Again, I can't get over the fact that we were supposed to be in this horrible, dark thing that was very scary. Come get some craft services!

SPEAKER_03:

All the other actors are just standing

SPEAKER_02:

around it. Hey, what's up?

SPEAKER_03:

The unknown has the mask off and is just like, hey guys, what's up? I'll see you in scene eight. Yeah, I'll see you when I come back in scene eight. Okay, what is this? So now we're in scene colon, the imagination lab and McDuff TV.

SPEAKER_02:

McDuff TV. Yeah,

SPEAKER_03:

like Mike TV from the actual book. And movies. So, like, Mike TV, but...

SPEAKER_02:

I win that he just, like, bought a TV station, and it's, like, the Oprah Winfrey Network, but, like, for Willie McDuff.

SPEAKER_03:

I mean, that's what they literally did in the thing. They had, like, a McDuff TV, like, camera from, like, a TV show in the warehouse.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, my.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. Okay. It was ridiculous.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay.

SPEAKER_03:

So, and, of course, we just need another scene colon after the scene colon above.

UNKNOWN:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Inside the vibrant bubble and lemonade room, the guests' laughter and enjoyment fill the air as they sip on the fizzy, magical drinks. Their attention is soon drawn to a mysterious door marked Imagination Lab. Keep out! Willie McDuff, with a mischievous glint in his eye, gathers the guests around the forbidden entrance.

SPEAKER_02:

And I come in with an air of secrecy. Ah, my curious friends, behind this door lies the heart of our confectionary wonders, the Imagination Lab, a place where the impossible becomes possible and the peculiar becomes delightful. Shut the... I'm going to say this. I got to stop saying it because it's going to happen too often. Again, I'm here to remind you that dreams really do come true in every freaking breath I have. That's my entire existence.

SPEAKER_03:

That's how whimsical I am. I'm just one big dream, baby. The audience leans in eager to hear more about the mystical lab.

SPEAKER_02:

Within these walls, we've concocted creations beyond your wildest dreams. McDuff TV, for instance. Where you can watch your favorite flavors come to life right before your eyes.

SPEAKER_03:

A murmur of intrigue spreads through the crowd. Rebel,

SPEAKER_02:

rebel, rebel, rebel, rebel. How could this be possible? Rebel, rebel, rebel. Is there even such a level of enchantment that could make this happen? And let's not forget our secret inventions. The soup-flavored jelly beans. They are straight up just ripping off Willy Wonka.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, the gum that Violet Beauregard

SPEAKER_02:

was chewing. It tastes like soup. The soup-flavored jelly beans designed to keep the wee ones clean. Hot and spicy beans that... attracts the bird what and then i wink that's a story for another day or perhaps a question for your parent

SPEAKER_03:

whoa what this guy is this guy

SPEAKER_02:

luring birds to have sex with

SPEAKER_03:

them no i think it's the birds and the bees talk is what i think he's trying to say there

SPEAKER_02:

but it really sounds like He's just luring birds. No, because you're going to have the hot and spicy beans, and you're going to eat them to attract the birds to you. Oh,

SPEAKER_03:

I know what. No, no, no. Attracts the birds, as in women. Birds is another term for women in the UK.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh. That's what

SPEAKER_03:

it is. Yeah, it just dawned on me now.

SPEAKER_02:

I mean, at least it's not I'm luring birds to have sex with them.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, no bestiality. It's just straight up sexual assault.

UNKNOWN:

Okay.

SPEAKER_02:

I just read ahead.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh,

SPEAKER_02:

yeah. Ah, and my favorite, the boogerberry bean. Because fuck it. Why not?

SPEAKER_03:

It's Bertie Botts. It's a play on that.

SPEAKER_02:

I know. Again, they're just horribly ripping off everything. Yep. And I feel like ChatGPT should be a little bit more creative than that. No. Because I feel like boogerberry bean is something that literally Billy Cole probably came up with himself.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Because he's not creative at all. Yeah. Anyway. Freshly made from Grandpa's old, crusty hanky. What? A taste that's, well... Let's just say uniquely exquisite.

SPEAKER_03:

What

SPEAKER_02:

the hell? William McDuff, what is happening?

SPEAKER_03:

This is the unhinged part. We're getting there, Joe. The next thing. The guests exchange amused and slightly apprehensive glances. Yeah, me too, man. Yeah, I wouldn't

SPEAKER_02:

even- Dude, I think this guy's

SPEAKER_03:

fucking crazy. Yeah, he's not normal.

SPEAKER_02:

And I had to come in proudly. And of course, the piece de resistance, the anti-graffiti gobstopper. Not only a marvel in keeping children's rooms clean, but a testament to the wonders of imagination and innovation.

SPEAKER_03:

The door slowly swings open, revealing a glimpse of the lab's interior. Flashes of color, bubbling concoctions, and strange machinery. Now this is where the meth lab pictures came from.

SPEAKER_02:

Got it. Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

scene trying the strange sweets.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, no. Now, who among you dares to taste the fruits of our imagination? Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, I would highly advise against

SPEAKER_02:

it. Oh, my God. Step right up and prepare for a flavor adventure-like. Oh, sorry. No. Adventure-unlike. It's one word. One word. Adventure-unlike.

SPEAKER_03:

Any

SPEAKER_02:

other?

SPEAKER_03:

The guests eagerly approach a table laden with the described sweets, each picking their choice with a mix of excitement and trepidation. Wait!

SPEAKER_02:

Wait! Wait, I read ahead. The guests have lines in the script. Wait.

SPEAKER_03:

Guest one.

SPEAKER_02:

Guest one? Yes, guest one. Why is it the guest one? Okay, I love the idea that you're in a- You got to plant people. No, no, no, no. I love the idea that you are taking a tour and then someone is like, hey, in this scene, you have a part.

SPEAKER_01:

And just throws them a script. Here you

SPEAKER_03:

go,

SPEAKER_01:

buddy.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, or no, no. What they do, if they were smart about it and planned ahead, which unfortunately we know they did not, they would have handed out the suite to this person with a line wrapped around it that says, read me. And then they just, they're the ones that just say the words. But then it would be, oh, I have to read this? Okay. Wow. I can't believe it. Or whatever, you know? Because guess what? Apparently trying the soup-flavored jelly bean. It's like dinner in a dessert. Astonishing. Guess two, having the boogerberry bean. Oh, wow. It's

SPEAKER_02:

oddly

SPEAKER_03:

gorgeous. How is that possible?

SPEAKER_02:

You tell me, guest two, what's happening? What do you mean? It's gorgeous.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. Why are you using gorgeous to describe that?

SPEAKER_02:

I bet there's just some creepy guy in the back. One of the dads are just fist-folding these hot and spicy beans.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. Some creeper dad's in the back just like, let's see if these give it a try. Laughter and surprised exclamations fill the room as guests indulge in the whim Oh, that

SPEAKER_02:

was the entire scene. That's it. That's the whole thing. Okay.

SPEAKER_03:

Scene. McDuff TV camera. As the tasting continues, Willie McDuff gestures towards an old-fashioned camera with a sign McDuff TV on it.

SPEAKER_02:

And now, for a bit of fun, let's capture your expressions for McDuff TV, the only channel where every reaction is a flavor sensation. What? I don't

SPEAKER_03:

understand how that's possible.

SPEAKER_02:

Every reaction. is a flavor sensation.

SPEAKER_03:

Apparently happy tastes...

SPEAKER_02:

Like boogerberry.

SPEAKER_03:

Apparently. Hey,

SPEAKER_02:

don't get me started with what Love Island

SPEAKER_03:

tastes like. Oh, God. The camera lights up and Willie directs the guests to react to the flavors they're experiencing. Their expressions of delight, surprise, and bemusement are broadcast on a vintage television set in the corner, providing a hilarious and heartwarming spectacle. I don't understand that

SPEAKER_02:

at all. So it's a camera. Look at those marvelous expressions. Each face tells a story, a testament to the boundless realms of taste and imagination. Remember, in the Imagination Lab. Every discovery is a step towards joy, and every flavor tells a tale.

SPEAKER_03:

Unclear how they're tasting this, or if they're even tasting it. Yeah,

SPEAKER_02:

again, in the ideal AI script, it's just a shitty TV. Yeah,

SPEAKER_03:

it's just a TV, man.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, it's a camera, man. Ah.

SPEAKER_03:

Scene ends with the guests gathered around the television, watching themselves and laughing together.

SPEAKER_01:

United... Oh,

SPEAKER_03:

there we are! united in a shared experience of wonder and discovery willie mcduff watches over them a satisfied smile on his face knowing that the spirit of adventure and imagination has been kindled in their hearts

SPEAKER_02:

what the fuck oh my god the next scene

SPEAKER_03:

willie versus the unknown The Anti-Graffiti Gobstopper Showdown.

SPEAKER_02:

Now that is a fucking title. That is. That sounds like an episode of One Piece.

SPEAKER_03:

Yes, it does. It does. Showdown. Yeah, like, just imagine that wonderful... Willie versus the Unknown. The Anti-Graffiti Gobstopper Showdown. The excitement within the imagination lab reaches a crescendo as... As the guests gather around the unprecedented spectacle. Unprecedented.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, that's one way to put it. Unprecedented. Some weird guy just made us eat a bunch of random stuff and then filmed us.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, that's... It's creepy. The lights dim and a spotlight illuminates Willie McDuff standing at one end of the room holding the last anti-graffiti gobstopper in his hand. Opposite him, shrouded in darkness, emerges the Unknown. All capital this time. Not just the, lowercase, unknown. Capital. It's the guy. The guy. The guy. I

SPEAKER_02:

really feel like we could just name him. Yeah. Steve.

SPEAKER_03:

Steve Slugworth. You got people, you know? With a device that emits a sinister... glow. The air crackles with anticipation. I just want to do it one time, like Rocky Horror, like Frankenfurter. Anticipation.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay, so ChatGPT doesn't talk about at all that the Unknown ambushes them or something like he attacked or anything. Literally in the script, it just says that the lights dim and William McDuff just walks over to the end of the room to get ready for the showdown with the Unknown. That's it.

SPEAKER_03:

Yep. What? Yeah. Again, even the AI script, it's so lame. Yeah. He doesn't just appear in a puff of smoke out of nowhere like Wizard of Oz or anything. He just shows up. He

SPEAKER_02:

just walks up, hey, let's go. Also, why is this the last anti-graffiti gobstopper?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_02:

Aren't you making more? Yeah, is he making a ton of these? Why is it the last one?

SPEAKER_03:

Apparently, maybe it's the last batch. Also, I just had a really funny thought of the unknown. The guy who was at Crafty, you know, the same guy dressed up with his little mask and stuff up. He just comes out from Crafty.

SPEAKER_02:

He just walks from the table.

SPEAKER_03:

He's still holding a cup and doesn't have his mask down. He drinks the rest of it.

SPEAKER_02:

Throws it. Let's go. Yeah, exactly. That's what I'm imagining. All right. Willie McDuff holding up the gobstopper. Behold the culmination of imagination and ingenuity. The anti-graffiti gobstopper. A suite so powerful it can make any and any and any and any and any and any and it can make any and room sparkle without lifting a finger. Okay, but wait, hang on.

UNKNOWN:

Pause.

SPEAKER_03:

I told you it got a little more complicated than just

SPEAKER_02:

a magic eraser. So it's still candy.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, it's still candy, Joe.

SPEAKER_02:

But like, is it candy that you use like a magic eraser or do you have to eat the candy? I

SPEAKER_03:

think you have to eat the candy and it basically incentivizes you to clean. It's just caffeine.

SPEAKER_01:

It's just caffeine. That's all it is.

SPEAKER_03:

No, it's not just caffeine, Joe. It's cocaine. Cocaine or meth. One of those.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay. I'm sorry. A sweet so powerful it can make any in room sparkle without lifting a finger. But it seems our friend, the unknown, would rather use it for less tidy purposes.

SPEAKER_03:

Less tidy purposes. You could just say evil or not good or something. We don't have to say less tidy purposes. The

SPEAKER_02:

unknown now comes in. sneering. That's right, McDuff. Imagine the chaos, the absolute power of turning tidiness into turmoil. Hand it over, and I might consider sparing your precious lab.

SPEAKER_03:

The audience gasps, tension mounting as the two adversaries stand ready. Stand ready for what?

SPEAKER_02:

They're about to fist fight. They're about to fuck each other up. WWE Smackdown. Willie McDuff resolute. In the spirit of imagination and the pursuit of joy, I cannot let that happen. If it's a showdown you want, it's a showdown you'll get.

SPEAKER_03:

Suddenly, the room transforms into a battlefield.

SPEAKER_02:

A battlefield? Whoa!

SPEAKER_03:

The room transforms into a battlefield of lights and lasers.

SPEAKER_02:

And techno music just starts booming.

SPEAKER_03:

They are in a warehouse, Joe. I'm going to keep saying that.

SPEAKER_02:

Just like the Simpsons episode. We work hard. We play hard.

SPEAKER_03:

Everybody dance now. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Yeah, exactly. I like that visual. Willie uses a device resembling a futuristic remote. What? Futuristic remote? What? can just have a regular remote. It's fine. We don't need to be weird. Activating traps and illusions around the lab to thwart the unknown's advances. What advances? What traps? He's coming on to Willy, apparently.

SPEAKER_02:

The unknown comes in, dodging a beam of light. You think these parlor tricks will stop me? I've come too far to be foiled now.

SPEAKER_03:

He retaliates with his own device, shooting

SPEAKER_02:

beams. It's a remote showdown.

SPEAKER_03:

It's a laser light showdown.

SPEAKER_02:

Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew. Shit, my batteries are dead.

SPEAKER_03:

shooting beams of lights towards Willie, who skillfully evades them, using the lab's inventions as shields and counter. It literally is like a wizard fight. That's literally what they're

SPEAKER_02:

trying to do. And it's not magic. It's futuristic remotes.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, futuristic

SPEAKER_02:

remotes. Now we're from magic and enchantment to sci-fi. Yep. Willie McDuff with a twinkle in his eye. It's not about stopping you with tricks, but with creativity. Shut the fuck up. I need the unknown just to go shut the fuck up.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Pause for a second. Shut the fuck up. Yeah. Or I'm gonna really walk over there and kick your ass. Yeah. For every dark intention, there's a light of innovation ready to shine through.

SPEAKER_03:

Willy activates a machine that releases a dazzling display of holographic images, momentarily disorienting the unknown.

SPEAKER_02:

What is going

SPEAKER_03:

on? Seizing the opportunity, Willy sets the anti-graffiti gobstopper into a contraption that amplifies its cleanup capabilities. Ha ha ha ha! sending a wave of sparkling cleanliness towards the unknown, neutralizing his device and rendering him harmless.

SPEAKER_02:

No! My plans thwarted by tidiness?

UNKNOWN:

What?

SPEAKER_03:

I don't know anymore. What is going on? They're speaking very, very different language from me. The guests cheer as the unknown is gently swept up. A robotic vacuum humorously ending the confrontation. What? I like how he's gently swept up. My God. What? By a vacuum? By a vacuum.

SPEAKER_02:

What is going on? It

SPEAKER_03:

went off the rails. I told you it was going to get weird.

SPEAKER_02:

William McDuff addresses the audience. And so, my friends, we see that even in the face of darkness, the light of imagination, joy, and a bit of clever cleaning can prevail. Let us remember, the greatest adventures and the most enduring victories are those we achieve together. The more you know. This is Willy's chocolate experience. Yep, there's no chocolate. There is

SPEAKER_03:

no chocolate

SPEAKER_02:

in the chocolate experience.

SPEAKER_03:

Exactly. What? The room lights up, returning to its vibrant state. As Willy offers a bow... the anti-graffiti gobstopper safely in hand. The guests erupt into applause, celebrating the triumph of creativity and courage over chaos. The scene ends with Willie McDuff and the guests reveling in the success of their imaginative endeavor, reinforcing the power of unity and the endless possibilities that lie within the realms of imagination and innovation. The end.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, I

SPEAKER_03:

told you it was a wild ride.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, man. OK.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

What do we say? I

SPEAKER_03:

mean,

SPEAKER_02:

what do we do? Those poor actors.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. Yeah. They

SPEAKER_02:

had. How did they even try to bring this to life?

SPEAKER_03:

They so literally like they got the script the night before.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Those poor actors, like, I feel so bad for them. And also with the lack of props. If we looked at that room. Oh, and rehearsal. Yeah, and rehearsal. Like, you had no time to prepare. And you had so, so little to work with. And, oh, also, I forgot to mention, too, they didn't get their outfits, their costumes, until the day of. And they came from, like, Amazon.

UNKNOWN:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Of course they did. Why would it be anything else?

SPEAKER_03:

Right. So like these poor actors who thought that they were going to be doing this cool thing and using their talents to perform for kids get saddled with this script and a costume last minute, no rehearsal time, and are told that basically the whole place is going to be decked out tomorrow. And then they go home. They come back. Everything's the same as yesterday. And then they're just given an Amazon costume and say, here you go, have fun. Bye.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, man.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. There was, like, no hope. It's so sad.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm trying to figure out what the takeaways of this even was. I mean, granted, yes, this is just a scam.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah,

SPEAKER_02:

it's a scam. It was just a scam to scam families out of money in a decent Saturday afternoon.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, and traumatize children.

SPEAKER_02:

And traumatize children, apparently. I would probably give it credit where credit's due. I'm guessing Billy Cole's intention... wasn't to traumatize children. I think chat GPT made something that traumatized children.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, but by proxy, Billy Cole did put all that stuff into chat GPT and probably didn't read it

SPEAKER_02:

before. You think the guy that had, what was it? Carchy tons in his advertisements and sweet teats didn't check that? If his stuff was written correctly,

SPEAKER_03:

you'd think. I know, shocker.

SPEAKER_02:

So what was the takeaway from this? Because Willie McDuff is insufferable. He has nothing to him other than constantly reminding the audience that it's always about unity, finding dreams come true, and light and darkness, and what I was not expecting, clean your room, bucko. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

That's not really the message that the typical Willy Wonka character imbues.

SPEAKER_02:

I was not prepared for the whole fight over Mr. Clean. That one threw me, I'm going to be honest.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, that was not expected. That was a plot twist, if ever I saw one. You're right. So basically what ended up happening to everyone, it was not as advertised. as we can plainly see. It went belly up within the first tour. The actors were very discouraged. Everybody was very sad. The police got called.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, man.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, that was wild, too. What ended up happening was people then started a fund for these poor actors and stuff because they thought they were getting a good gig for... for the day or for the weekend. And then all of a sudden, that wasn't what it turned out to be. So basically, there was a fundraiser put together. People auctioned off some of the set pieces. Also, some of the set pieces were created by AI and had typos or looked really weird. And so people, they auctioned them off so people could have a little bit of history. Oh,

SPEAKER_02:

I'd want it so

SPEAKER_03:

bad. I know. I thought about that. I was like, you guys auction stuff off. Oh, I wish I'd known.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, I want it so bad. The

SPEAKER_03:

big takeaway is...

SPEAKER_02:

Cleanliness is next to godliness. Yeah,

SPEAKER_03:

apparently so.

SPEAKER_02:

Quote Willie McDowell.

SPEAKER_03:

So a lot of people took this to be like a comparison with what like Fyre Festival was back in 2017. Sure,

SPEAKER_02:

yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

And like just basically wasn't as advertised. And it's just really sad.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, and I think what we're also going to be diving more into as well is this is, I think, a real... thing that scares me when it comes to AI is you have, and this is why we're doing the podcast as well, right? Is that you have people who are literally trying to scam other people. They are trying to make a quick buck and they're just doing it the laziest way possible.

SPEAKER_03:

Yep. It's hurting others in the process. Like it's not a victimless crime.

SPEAKER_02:

No. And the guy is shameless too because I saw he had a 60 Minutes interview.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Out in Australia or something. Some other 60 Minutes, not the U.S. one. Yeah. Did it for with him, I believe. And he talked about, oh, this ruined my life. My entire career was over. My wife left me.

SPEAKER_03:

It just it goes to show you that, again, these people are just a bunch of shysters that that don't care who who they hurt. And those poor people. actors at the end of the day too that's just really defeating like to come to a set to be like super excited about a cool gig to just end

SPEAKER_02:

up being screwed over number two in the meth lab

SPEAKER_03:

yeah yeah and you get screwed over by by a guy who doesn't give a shit and that's that's the sad part about it

SPEAKER_00:

yeah

SPEAKER_03:

but Wait, Joe, that's not all. Oh,

SPEAKER_00:

boy.

SPEAKER_03:

We're going to talk about Billy Cole next week, too, because he hasn't stopped making shit.

SPEAKER_02:

Great.

SPEAKER_03:

And it all involves AI. Great. So that's something to look forward to in our next episode.

SPEAKER_02:

That sounds good. And wait, hang on. I'm going to try to do this in my most whimsical Willie McDuff voice. And we'll see you all in

SPEAKER_03:

the next episode. Bye-bye. Bye. Thank you so much. Wonky Doodle 2, handing out a peculiarly... Oh, my God. I can't... Jesus. Okay. Wonky Doodle 2, handing out a peculiarly... Peculiar? Peculiar. I can't... Okay. Oh, that's who we want to have instead of Castro gives you candy. McDuff

SPEAKER_02:

gives you candy. Yeah,

SPEAKER_03:

McDuff gives you candy.

SPEAKER_02:

They're not going to know that reference.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, that's a deep cut for people that love-

SPEAKER_02:

Really bad movies. Really

SPEAKER_03:

bad Christian movies.